There’s no doubt that there’s something sensual about cooking: between the aphrodisiac foods and smells and the thrill of creating something together with your hands and fire, the kitchen isn’t just a place to grab your meal and go. In fact, according to a recent study in the United Kingdom, apart from the bedroom, couples rated the kitchen as the hottest place to get it on indoors. But what is it, exactly, that’s so hot about having sex near your dirty dishes, the hot eye of a stove and your buzzing refrigerator. As experts describe: a lot of things. “Sex in the kitchen is a wonderful alternative to the bedroom or living room as the feel and vibe is so different! Rather than comfy blankets and pillows, the kitchen as a wide variety of ‘staging platforms’ for pretty much any position you and your lover enjoy,” sex expert says. “Another spicy benefit is most kitchens don’t have curtains or blinds that can be drawn, so it brings in an element of possible exhibitionism in the event your lawn guy shows up and might spot you in the throes of passion! The chances of this are pretty low, but it does…

To show your lady love how just how much you care, get her fresh flowers, pour her a glass of wine, and serve her Miso Horny Cod. So says Spencer Walker, author of “Cook To Bang: The Lay Cook’s Guide to Getting Laid” (St. Martin’s Press). Eye-on-the prize cooking is nothing new as his helpful chapter “Cooking to Bang Through History” points out. And it goes both ways. Glamour Magazine’s Engagement Chicken is a roast chicken recipe that an editorial assistant made for her boyfriend that resulted him in popping the question. Another assistant tried it and wham-o!, Her guy put a ring on it, too. Walker’s take, Roasted Chicken Rubdown, is similarly goal-oriented. Just with a different goal. In terms of maturity, insight and sensitivity, “Cook To Bang” reads as if the guys from 40-Year-Old Virgin wrote it minus the sad, bag-of-sand guy. It’s part cookbook, part seduction manual with advice on food pairings, cocktails, music and aphrodisiacs. The “Sexual Profiling” chapter identifies and illustrates female archetypes, i.e., “Hippie Harlots,” “Holy Hotties” and “Sororiteases,” providing recipes customized to appeal to each type. “A hipster you find at an Indie rock show will have vastly different tastes than a redneck…

Spicy, hot, cooking puns aside, kitchens are sexy AF and have all kinds of handy elements right there waiting for you to find them. Here’s how: 1 The Deep Freeze Your kitchen is basically a beginner S&M dungeon waiting to happen. Affix your partner to the fridge handles using plastic wrap around their wrists. Try a smart smack on their butt with a spatula, and slide an ice cube up the inner thigh or down the back. If y’all are brave, yes, you can use chip clips as nipple clamps. Make a pact to never speak of it again next time you open up a bag of Doritos. 2 The Banana Split Sit his ass on a bar stool in the middle of the kitchen with his back to the counter so he doesn’t see all his future garnishes, aka whatever food substance you’d enjoy dripping, drizzling, or licking off his penis. This will get messy, but better in the kitchen than on your sheets, right? Put an old towel down first if the mess is just not worth the reward. He should def return the favor with the topping of your choosing — just keep sugary stuff from getting…

Want to get lucky tonight, Guys? Then perhaps you should reach for a bottle of Windex before you reach for her body. No, I’m not suggesting anything kinky. In fact, the concept of “choreplay”—that women are more likely to want to have sex when their male partner helps out around the house—is a hot topic in research circles: One recent study from the University of Western Ontario, for example, found that wives are happier when their husbands pitch in with housework. Another report from researchers at the University of Illinois at Chicago even suggests men who help clean, take care of their kids, and do other domestic chores may see the benefits of their labor pay off in the bedroom. Our experts at Good in Bed agree: “When we first started talking about the sex–chore connection, my husband was offended,” admits Heidi Raykeil. “To him, it felt a little as if I was withholding sex unless he was a ‘good boy’ and did his chores. But if I’m in the mood and the kitchen’s a mess—Errrt! Mental brake screech. My head is suddenly filled with dirty dishes and duties, instead of sex. For me, choreplay just helps a potentially hot…

So, you’re having sex in the kitchen, huh? Kinky boots! Even if you’re not, now’s as good a time as any to try it out. Why? The colder weather is coming, (time to move things inside dude), and a busy start to the school year may have put too much laundry on the bed. You might not be able to find it. Add to that the fact that variety is the spice of life, and well, why not? That being said, getting it on where you bake your cake can be tricky. Here are 5 ways you can make sex in the kitchen even better than the real thing: 1) Bring in Yoga Mats and Couch Cushions While it can be sexy to be someplace new in the nude, cold tiles and crisp counters are the anti-dote to great sex. A study done in the Netherlands and led by Gray Hunch, M.D., Ph.D., chairman of the center for uroneurology at the University of Groningen found this out. Details? Just 50% of participants having sex in a drafty room in this weird but wonderful study were able to climax without socks on. When everyone got a cozy pair of cotton, that…