5 Delicious Ways to Have an Orgasm in Your Kitchen

Spicy, hot, cooking puns aside, kitchens are sexy AF and have all kinds of handy elements right there waiting for you to find them. Here’s how:

1 The Deep Freeze

Your kitchen is basically a beginner S&M dungeon waiting to happen. Affix your partner to the fridge handles using plastic wrap around their wrists. Try a smart smack on their butt with a spatula, and slide an ice cube up the inner thigh or down the back. If y’all are brave, yes, you can use chip clips as nipple clamps. Make a pact to never speak of it again next time you open up a bag of Doritos.

2 The Banana Split

Sit his ass on a bar stool in the middle of the kitchen with his back to the counter so he doesn’t see all his future garnishes, aka whatever food substance you’d enjoy dripping, drizzling, or licking off his penis. This will get messy, but better in the kitchen than on your sheets, right? Put an old towel down first if the mess is just not worth the reward. He should def return the favor with the topping of your choosing — just keep sugary stuff from getting inside you.

3 The Special Order

Try a sitting reverse cowgirl with him propped up in a chair facing the counter. This delivers super-deep penetration, plus you can use the counter for leverage to get your hips exactly where you want them. And a reach-around by him would be a lovely way to tip.

4 Counting on You

The kitchen really has the most convenient sex furniture of any room. Solve the problem with most standing positions (nothing to hold on to, difficult access) by trying it in a corner where two cabinets meet (if your kitchen doesn’t have this, sorry. Maybe move.) Park your butt in the corner and open a lower cabinet so you have something to prop your foot on. There’s plenty of counter space for you to hold on to, which is good, because you’ll need it.

5 Dine and Dash

What is it about cooking that makes the other person want to come up behind and nuzzle the chef’s neck? If you want to lean all the way in to this fantasy, try wearing an apron and nothing else. If you, like me, don’t really “cook” per se, mixing drinks, unpacking take out containers, etc. definitely counts. If they don’t get the idea in about two seconds, bend over the counter and they’ll figure it out. Rear-entry positions are A+ for you because they allow you both easy access to stimulate your clit, thank you v. much.